Why Do I Feel Lonely When I’m Never Alone?

Kids are wonderful. I genuinely don’t know what I would do without mine. They are the cherry on my sundae, the sweetie-pie that tops my tree, and the warm wrap that wraps me in their love. My children make life worth living, and while they are so present in my life and unchangingly with me, I can’t help but finger lonely plane when I’m never alone. It’s not for lack of people but a loss of identity, which can be hard.

I have four children. They range in age from 14 to 7. It didn’t seem like that big of a gap between the oldest and youngest until this year, with a daughter in first grade and a upper school freshman son. Talk well-nigh variegated worlds. And I am a part of those worlds. (That sounds like Ariel!) But stuff a part of those worlds as a mom isn’t like it was surpassing I had kids. My life is no longer well-nigh me. It is well-nigh them, and while I am not complaining, some of me disappeared withal the line.

You Transpiration When You Have a Child

I don’t superintendency who you are; you transpiration when you have a child. You are not the person you were plane the day surpassing you met that child. Do you sometimes long for the person you used to be? Maybe that was someone who went to happy hour without work or a woman who could get lost in a typesetting for hours. You didn’t think well-nigh soccer schedules and safety covers on electrical outlets. What happened to her? What happened to the people who were in her life before? They may still be there, but it isn’t like it used to be.

I miss those days when life was less complicated. I made my own money, bought my own things, and lived my own life. I’ve spent a lot of time as a stay-at-home mom and sometimes miss working. That probably sounds crazy to a lot of people. Who misses working? Who misses getting dressed up in the morning when you can lounge virtually in pajamas? Why would you want to sit in an office and do the same thing repeatedly when you can watch Netflix and eat Doritos? That is where people get it wrong. That is not what my life has been all about.

Coworkers are Like a Family

There is something special well-nigh coworkers. They aren’t your family, but they finger like it and make you finger less alone. We know well-nigh work wives and work husbands, the people you confide in well-nigh your real husband or wife, and know what’s going on in your personal life. I can’t mutter well-nigh those things to my kids. They’re part of what I want to mutter about. Now that I am not in the working world, I rarely talk to my old coworkers considering they’ve moved on with their lives, and so have I. But I miss them. I miss that life.

Yes, I have spent many days talking and letting it all out to a victual who couldn’t talk back. Is it cathartic? Absolutely. But it lacks the translating part. There is no laughter or the empathy your coworker feels when you remember you forgot to plug in the crockpot surpassing you left for work that morning. Those babies touched my soul in a way no office mate overly could, but there is increasingly to life.

I do find myself tired at this point in my life, too. Early 40s, large family, a house I can’t alimony up with, and laundry I will never finish. Who else feels that way? I shoehorn there is something to be said well-nigh what social media does to a person. I get lost in it sometimes and finger normal again. There is the good, and there is the downright horrible. And you must be very shielding how you tread those waters.

Does Every Parent Long for Their Life Before?

I see pictures of trappy vacations and happy families. I post the same things. But are they really that happy and fulfilled? Or is there a part of them longing for what their existence was like a few years ago, too? I wonder.

I recently went to my upper school reunion and was slapped with the reality that I wasn’t lonely in upper school. I was unchangingly doing something and going somewhere. These friends played such an essential role in my life for variegated reasons. One friend I hadn’t seen since our last reunion filled my soul that night. I hugged her so tight when I saw her. And we naturally went when to those carefree days like it was nothing. And it was. It was a blink.

Speaking of blinks, my kids are growing so fast. I sometimes can’t comprehend that it’s been 15 years since the first time I was pregnant. I remember stuff 15 and thinking it was a lifetime until I turned 16 and could get my driver’s license. As an adult, time goes by so quickly. Am I wrong to lament my younger days? To miss the days of stuff a selfish kid and self-oriented sultana surpassing my first son was born? No, feeling vacated is okay plane though your home is full.

And as much as I think well-nigh what it would be like to doll myself all up then at 6 a.m. and throne to the office, I realize that I need to fill my cup a bit fuller with the people I have in my home while I have them. Considering in the next twinkle of my eye, they will all be out of the house, and true loneliness will set in.